WASHINGTON (AFP) - Forget slaving over a hot stove, fishing out the giblets and peeling the veggies – this year’s Christmas Dinner is coming out of a soda bottle.

It might sound like a bizarre brew plucked from the pages of Harry Potter or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but a Seattle-based firm has a new line of artificially flavored festive drinks in time for US Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Topping the menu is a delicate smoked salmon pate drink, preparing the palate for sodas flavored with turkey and gravy or a dull green liquid masquerading as brussels sprouts.

On the side, try a sip of wild herb stuffing or broccoli casserole garnished with cranberry sauce, then wash it down with dessert — pumpkin or Pecan pie soda.

Honestly Jones. Just. Freaking. Stop. It’s not right. It’s a crime against nature and the culinary academy. Cranberries are difficult enough to keep down. Must you taint the world with your sick sense of humor?

Just stop. Really.