A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.
[…]
He attacked those in the press who claim that the shake-up at the White House was merely re-arranging the deck chairs on the Titanic. “This administration is soaring, not sinking,” he said. “If anything, they are re-arranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg.”
[…]
Colbert also made biting cracks about missing WMDs, “photo ops” on aircraft carriers and at hurricane disasters, melting glaciers and Vice President Cheney shooting people in the face. He advised the crowd, “if anybody needs anything at their tables, speak slowly and clearly on into your table numbers and somebody from the N.S.A. will be right over with a cocktail. ”
[…]
Also lampooning the press, Colbert complained that he was “surrounded by the liberal media who are destroying this country, except for Fox News. Fox believes in presenting both sides of the story — the president’s side and the vice president’s side.” In another slap at the news channel, he said: “I give people the truth, unfiltered by rational argument. I call it the No Fact Zone. Fox News, I own the copyright on that term.”
[…]
Addressing the reporters, he said, “Let’s review the rules. Here’s how it works. The president makes decisions, he’s the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Put them through a spell check and go home. Get to know your family again. Make love to your wife. Write that novel you got kicking around in your head. You know, the one about the intrepid Washington reporter with the courage to stand up to the administration. You know–fiction. (Read more…)
I am in high school. A freshman or possibly sophomore. I have just discovered kissing boys. A *gasp* college student I am dating plays me a cassette tape of a guy named Paul Lekakis who he swear is a gay porn star omg. Even better, this song is about guys. Doing it. Magical.
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Youtube takes me right back there… (Thanks for bringing this to my attention, Queerty)
DeLay told The Hill that he’s planning to write his memoirs, and is exploring a number of other possible venues that will keep him involved in public policy after he returns to private life. (Read more…)
Dear Tom: Don’t let plagiarism happen to YOU! The title “To Catch A Thief” is already taken. Love, Erik
Forget Connie Chung, Patricia Heaton, and Soledad O’Brien. While all were hoping to replace Today-bound Meredith Vieira on The View, none of ‘em got it. The empty seat will be filled by ex-talk show host, blogger, and cruise line operator Rosie O’Donnell, reports TMZ. Not sure what demograhpic they’re reaching out to with Rosie’s placement, but you can be sure our gay cousin will be watching. A formal announcement is expected tomorrow. (Read more…)
I was introduced to this instructional toilet paper through one of Mark Morford’s ever-hilarious columns. There’s a precious puppydog on a sheet + 4 more of precious puppydog pawprints. Teach your child to tear at the puppy each time for the right amount.
I like simple solutions, especially when they involve teaching the user a new trick, and extra-especially when it can be done without words.
<someone else> blah blah blah danish modern rules blah blah yadda hooha
<me> no one in the entire world wants danish modern furniture. modern danes don’t want it.
<me> its ugly and fucking boring. my idea of hell is having to browse copenhagen for eternity.
<me> i’d sooner crack my skull on the ugly brutish corner of a danish modern coffee tabl than look at it
<me> ikea is not danish modern
<me> Ikea is to Danish Modern as McDonalds is to Hamburgers.
President Bush today said he had tried to avoid war with Iraq “diplomatically to the max.”
Bush also explained, in unusually stark terms, how his belief in God influences his foreign policy. “I base a lot of my foreign policy decisions on some things that I think are true,” he said. “One, I believe there’s an Almighty. And, secondly, I believe one of the great gifts of the Almighty is the desire in everybody’s soul, regardless of what you look like or where you live, to be free.”
(Read more…)
Setting up a new tag when I get home: Signs of the apocalypse.
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Forget Connie Chung, Patricia Heaton, and Soledad O’Brien. While all were hoping to replace Today-bound Meredith Vieira on The View, none of ‘em got it. The empty seat will be filled by ex-talk show host, blogger, and cruise line operator Rosie O’Donnell, reports TMZ. Not sure what demograhpic they’re reaching out to with Rosie’s placement, but you can be sure our 
Some highlights from the Strangers With Candy Cast: