I need a corner laundry basket. I am currently using two round trashcan sort of things which take up an awkward amount of space. It suddenly occurred to me that a triangular basket that sits in the corner would do me a world of good. It turns out that you can only buy wicker. If it has to do with laundry, it’s must be wicker, apparently. But I hate wicker. So if anyone has ideas on where to get a non-wicker corner basket of some sort please let me know.

I also discovered that interweb sites specializing in laundry products tend to be run by run/written by the sort of people that like to make entire art projects out of rubberstamps (or elbow macaroni, paper plates, and Elmer’s Glue). No I won’t explain what that means. You get it or you don’t.

One in particular had me fascinated for entire fives of minutes with tasteless copywriting. A sample (Bolding is mine. I couldn’t help myself):

Discover stylish designer wicker storage baskets and laundry hampers for your bathroom decor. These lovely laundry and clothes hampers are handcrafted and feature excellent American workmanship. Also discover unique bathroom étagère which make stylish bathroom organizers while setting a unique and admirable trend for your bath decor. Our choice of bathroom accessories also include choice bath sets, bath towel racks and wood and storage hampers which add a creative look to your decor. Designed with top quality wrought iron and a finish that wills a contemporary theme, our bathroom accessories offer a practical storage solution that also enhances your bathroom decorating projects. If you have any questions relating to our bathroom accessories, email us at csr@xxxxxxxx.com. We will also be introducing stylish and elegant bathroom furniture including modern bathroom vanity cabinets and other vanities that will set a style and personality that you will enjoy!

The xxxxxxx.com line of bathroom accessories and storage include a collection that reflects modernity and classic look combined. Made of sturdy wrought iron and crafted through by American artisans, our rich bathroom collection including our choice bathroom étagère and wicker storage baskets promises to add beauty and mastery to your bathroom décor projects. Discover our rich line of towel racks and bars which comes with many handsome finishes or add a practical touch with our choice of bathroom storage with corner hampers and bathroom storage solutions which will serve up a trendy look to your bathroom scene.

This went on for paragraphs and paragraphs. On every product page. On every category page. It was bosoms-heaving, muscle-rippling, ooh-and-ahh romance novel writing about fucking wicker baskets. I need to visine my eyes now. With bleach.