Someone found my most excellent blog post about crocs via google, apparently. In case you come back, whoever you are, I have a suggestion: Casts. For your crocs-wearing feet. Because if you’re not 4 year old twin girls wearing matching pink crocs and tiaras, or an adult wearing them only inside your garden (for gardening purposes) I will drive over your feet. And trust me when I say that some billybob teeth and a clown nose can only improve your sex appeal.

BTW, I still rule: #1 & #2 google results for “crocs are retarded.”

Update: @isaacschlueter brought an awesome maddox post to the cesspool. Thanks!

p.s.: I wish maddox would come out of the closet. We’d make a wonderful couple.

Update #2: @davidrdesign also croc-snarked.