Warning: This is a really gay fanboy post that ogles Dylan McDermott mercilessly like a delectable cut of Kobe Beef. He is the hottest man alive, and if you disagree with me, then you are wrong. And possibly a little reeree. Move along, nothing to see here.

The TiVo has an anti-screen burn feature: If you let it sit in any menu area for too long it will switch you over to live tv — whatever happens to be on that tuner. Sometimes I get sucked into crap I would never watch. Like Murder She Wrote. And today, its Yet Another Movie in which the dad moves his dysfunctional family out to the countryside, into a spooky creepy farmhouse being haunted by the previous and late occpuants that only the children can see. I really dislike movies in this vein not only for rehashed storylines, but because they tend to build and release tension with 50dB blasts.

I like a good horror movie, but these bore me and give me a headache, so I don’t watch them anymore. And I think hollywood knows this, and have discovered an effective counter: DILFs (Dads I’d Like To beFriend).

First it was Ryan Reynolds in The Amityville Horror. He’s a good deal younger than me and very much a one off hotness thing for me. The combination of superhero build, cuts all over his face, being angry all the time, and the Best Beard Ever allowed him to slip through my twinky filter.

Dylan McDermott , on the other hand… well, I’ve always been a giggling fanboy for him. First in Steel Magnolias, crawling through that crying chick’s window in a pair of shorts with the hottest legs ever, later in Home for the Holidays (this is going to sound stupid) drinking orange juice from a bottle in a way that made my toes curl, (… everything he has ever been in…) and now in this dumb The Messengers movie.

I can’t look away, because I might miss Dylan (aka my next ex-husband) doing something that will make me feel funny in my dangerzone. Like opening a letter, tying his shoelace, using a styptic pencil, or doing his taxes. Damn you Hollywood.