Archive for the 'shitlist' Category

An early christmas present from kringlebush: EPA Denies Calif. Greenhouse Gas Waiver

Published at December 19, 2007 in war, wake up, sad, anti-logic, shitlist, outrage, absurd and politics. 0 Comments

The Environmental Protection Agency on Wednesday slapped down California’s bid for first-in-the-nation greenhouse gas limits on cars, trucks and SUVs, refusing the state a waiver that would have allowed those restrictions to take effect.

“The Bush administration is moving forward with a clear national solution — not a confusing patchwork of state rules,” EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson told reporters on a conference call. “I believe this is a better approach than if individual states were to act alone.” (Read More)

There you have it: delicious greasy lumps of war-coal for everyone.

That EPA admin’s comments stink of a Karen Hughes’ condescending 3-word bumpersticker bullshit campaign. I’m reminded of commercials for as-seen-on-tv products, trying to sell me a solution for a problem that never existed in a tone that actually makes me question my sanity:

[Narrator]: “The Vac-u-stick 3000. How often has this happened to you?”

Cut to…

[Scene of woman trying to get one of those clunky, old fashioned 300 lb. canister vacuums out of closet, only to get tangled up in the cord and hoses, fall into a tank full of pirhana, break the glass, and stab her eyes out]

Cut to…

[Mysteriously resurrected woman reading from cue cards]: “WHY… … … DOES. VACUUMING… … … HAVE. TO. BE… … SO COMPLICATED. AND. DANGEROUS? … … … … … OW.”

Sphere: Related Content

Dear City Park SF: Fuck you

Published at November 1, 2007 in personal, irritating, iPhone, shitlist, absurd, outrage, work, san francisco and rant. 0 Comments

Got this POS memo from City Park a few days ago wrt my iPhone being stolen from my car in their garage @ 475 Sansome in the SF Financial District. As noted in the post to which I am linking, they have one thing to say “NOT OUR PROBLEM.”

I get that, assholes. I read the contract posted 8 times on the wall. I read the contract on the back of my ticket. And I certainly couldn’t have missed it when I beseeched the valets (yes, valets. in a locked garage. one of whom stole my phone but it’s “not our problem”) to let me look in my car or do anything helpful, but who could only stand their drooling, picking lint out of their assholes, and pointing at the posted contracts on the wall stating “it’s not our problem.”

Thanks for the great customer service, and the compassion. Thanks for dealing with this matter so quickly. Thanks for doing thorough background checks and actually looking into a matter that damages your brand reputation.

Oh, and by the way, thanks for hedging your memo by rewording what I stated in my report to “phone MAY have gone missing.” What I actually said was that it was taken from my car which I left in the hands of one of your fast fingered valets.

Did I say thanks? I meant fuck you. In the heart. With a rusty, dull knife.

I may need to park there again if I work in our downtown office, but you can bet your ass I’ll take pictures of every thug you’ve hired and bleed on the internet about every surly encounter I have with you.

Iphoto-1

(click for bigger)

Sphere: Related Content

WHY WON’T YOU STAY IN YOUR GRAVE

Published at October 31, 2007 in war, irritating, anti-logic, shitlist, save the children and politics. 0 Comments

Karen Hughes is “retiring,” yet another exodus from the Bush admin. Why the hell won’t she go away forever? Fucking Halloween zombie.
Longtime Bush Adviser Leaving State Dept - Politics On The Huffington Post - Mozilla Firefox (Build 2007100816)

Read more on huffpo

Sphere: Related Content

Ding dong the witch is dead… Hastert Finally To Resign

Published at October 18, 2007 in interesting, shitlist, save the children and politics. 0 Comments

*boggle*

The GOP is suffering a serious exodus… this is something like 13 or 14 that have announced intentions to retire in the last 3 months.

The Politico - Former Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Ill.) is expected to announce that he plans to leave the House later this year, setting up the widely anticipated prospect of a special election to replace him, Republican sources on Capitol Hill confirmed.

Hastert initially planned to make an announcement Thursday, but has since scrapped that decision, according to one GOP aide. The former speaker, who announced his plans to retire over the summer, is still expected to leave the House some time in December, but the date of his departure - as well as his announcement - remains unclear. (Read More)

Sphere: Related Content

Ding dong the witch is dead… Brownback withdrawing from presidential bid

Published at October 18, 2007 in irritating, 2008, shitlist, queer, save the children and politics. 0 Comments

Another assclown drops out…

Brownback, the distinguished douchebag from Kansas, and another graduate of the school of “let’s get intimately familiar with hot man on man sex and other consensual and adult topics that are none of our business, because we’re insanely repressed, and we’ll get away with it by pretending to Save The Children” is not only dropping his presidential bid, but is also leaving the senate to run for Governor of Kansas.

I’m sensing a pattern here… Should we start a pool on when Inofe (R-OK) announces a similar trick, so he, Brownback, and Hutchison can have a hot, geographically stacked menage-a-trois of gay porn, hate fucking, and protecting the families of our great white christian heartland?

WASHINGTON — Republican Sam Brownback will drop out of the 2008 presidential campaign on Friday, people close to the Kansas senator said Thursday.

Brownback, a longshot conservative contender, had trouble raising money to compete in the race. He is expected announce his withdrawal in Topeka, Kan.

He raised a little more than $800,000 in the third quarter of this year, his lowest quarterly amount since entering race. He has brought in more than $4 million overall and is eligible for $2 million in federal matching funds.

“I know Senator Brownback enjoyed campaigning and meeting new people in talking about ideas for the future of America, but I think it came down to money,” said one person close to Brownback, who requested anonymity because the candidate had not yet announced his plans.

Brownback, who is in his second term, had said in his first Senate campaign he would serve no more than two terms in Senate. He is widely expected to seek the Kansas governor’s office in 2010. (Read More)

Sphere: Related Content

Ding dong the witch is dead… Kay Bailey Hutchison leaving the Senate

Published at October 17, 2007 in 2008, shitlist, queer, save the children and politics. 0 Comments

Hurray that this evil asshole is finally quitting the Senate. And whatevs that she is considering a run for Governor. If she wins, she’ll sully the seat that Ann Richards ass once graced, but she can’t do worse than the shrub.

200710171100Republican Kay Bailey Hutchison will not seek re-election after her current Senate term and may leave before her term ends in 2012 to run for Texas governor, a spokesman for the senator says.
[…]
Hutchison said she has not yet made a decision as to whether to run for the governorship. (Read More)

Sphere: Related Content

Hilarious compilation of Larry Craig political cartoons

Published at September 1, 2007 in shitlist, queer, save the children, funny and politics. 0 Comments

200709011314

LOTS more at DailyKos

Sen. Craig (R-ID) Resigns Over Sex Sting

Published at September 1, 2007 in shitlist, sad, nifty, queer, rant, save the children and politics. 0 Comments

larry craigIdaho Sen. Larry Craig resigned Saturday over a men’s room sex sting, bowing to pressure from fellow Republicans worried about a scandal dimming their election prospects. (Read More)

Ciao, asshole. Whether or not you were teabagging in the tearoom, I’m thankful that one more of your “kinder, gentler” ilk is no longer able to use the United States Senate to institutionalize your twisted standards, providing legal and moral backbone to the cowards who bully, beat, discriminate against, and torture young gay men and women into suicide… or those who just cut out the middleman and murder them outright.

Sphere: Related Content

Gonazles resigns w00t

Published at August 27, 2007 in wake up, criminal, shitlist and nifty. 0 Comments

I’m not repeating this for anyone but myself
gonzo

Update: With the text of his resignation speech, and a few key words substituted:

Thirteen years ago I entered slithered into public service to make a positive devastating difference in the lives of others. And during this time I have traveled a remarkable journey, from my home state of Texas the 1st circle of hell to Washington, D.C. the 9th, supported by the unwavering love bloodlust and encouragement of my wife Rebecca and our sons Jared, Graham and Gabriel masters of the Empire.

Yesterday I met with President Bush Osama bin Laden and informed him of my decision to conclude my government service reign of terror as midwife of the destruction of the United States effective as of September 17th, 2007.

Let me say that it’s been one of my greatest privileges to lead pillage the Department of Justice Constitution. I have great admiration scorn and respect repulsion for the men and women who work here. I have made a point as attorney general to personally meet ruin as many of them as possible, and today I want to again thank them for their service donation to our nation my SoulKeeper.

It is through their continued work that our country and our communities remain safe in fear, that the rights and civil liberties of our citizens are protected systematically removed, and the hopes and dreams of all of our children are secured gleefully destroyed.

I often remind our fellow citizens that we live in the greatest country in the world and that I have lived the American dream. Even my worst days as attorney general have been better than my father’s best days. [ed. I have nothing to add to this one]

Public service is honorable and noble [MHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA]. And I am profoundly grateful to President Bush for his friendship embarrassing, unswerving, stubborn, sycophantic human shield of my activities and for the many opportunities he has given me to serve rape the American people.

Thank you, and God bless fuck America.

Sphere: Related Content

“Support the troops” as a justification is getting old

Published at June 2, 2007 in anti-logic, war, wake up, irritating, shitlist, absurd, funny, rant, duh and politics. 0 Comments

Update: Found a great image on boners.com

200706021744
RibbonI’ve absolutely had it with people bandying variants of the phrase “Support the troops” around. It’s like saying “We support children” or “Air is necessary to breathe.”

Of course we support the troops. Who the hell doesn’t? No one in their right mind would say and mean “I don’t support the troops” because that would be irrational. The military depends completely on masses of soldiers conforming. The troops wouldn’t be where they are if they couldn’t follow orders. Obviously it’s the people giving the orders that some folks don’t support.

I blame Karen Hughes. This is exactly the sort of idiotically oversimplified catch phrase that asshole is famous for. People too stupid to think for themselves can say it and feel good. People who are smart enough to recognize it as utter smoke and mirrors horseshit are reviled by the first category. It’s a win win for the war machine.

Sphere: Related Content